Applying the 90 second rule to irritation and frustration!!
Some of you might remember when I’ve talked about in the past how they have tested in the laboratory that a pure emotion lasts only 90 seconds if we actually allow it to be experienced fully without judging it or trying to stop it… Sound familiar?
I cannot emphasize how POWERFULLY this knowledge supports you in navigating and managing daily life with relative ease compared to managing situations without this toolkit…
Here’s an example that happened a few days ago:
For those of you that know about Human Design, I am a Projector that has an open sacral and my husband is a Manifesting Generator with a defined the sacral and tons and tons and tons of wonderful energy! However, it can be a bit challenging for me during sleep time as his strong energy from his sacral revs me up going to sleep and immediately upon awaking – I have a sneaky suspicion it’s happening during sleep as well.
This has been basically my ONLY challenge integrating our two lives together!! It has been fantastically glorious I must admit I have not had enough time to come up with an awesome solution THOUGH I am bound and determined to find one!!!
The other morning I woke up and felt a bit drained from so much energy stimulation…I noticed my frustration escalating. In the past, I would have suppressed it or become very very grumpy at the other person or the event.
This time I remembered the 90 second rule and I allowed myself to get super frustrated by saying: “I am feeling grumpy, grumpy, grumpy, grumpy!! I’m feeling grumpy, grumpy, grumpy!!” I let that frustration and irritation grow stronger, intensify and build up completely and fully WHILE letting it pass through me. Sure enough it was gone in about 90 seconds.
AND during that difficult time, I simply stayed with the emotion: feeling grumpy and frustrated and irritated! I did not accuse or lash out or direct it at my beautiful husband!! YAY!!! Proud of myself for that one I continued to reassure him that it was simply my grumpiness and had nothing to do with him…it wasn’t his fault anyway!!! He was simply being his beautiful self, present and alive!
Because I remained in the truth of the emotion and not in any story built up in my mind, he began to joke with me and helped me pull up and out of the moment…
I found this example an incredibly incredibly incredibly amazing guide to navigating the difficulty in our lives with grace and ease:
- Be present with it, don’t escape it.
- Allow it to be expressed and move through you without judgment or a story that builds up in your mind.
- Be kind and forgiving to yourself.
- Being honest without accusation softens the intensity which disappears in 90 seconds anyway if you will allow it full expression!!
- This strategy keeps open the doors and the space for those around you to come in and support you in those moments. It does not push people away or cause you to close off from them!!!
I hope this helps you like it helps me please let me know what you think? And let me know if this helps you! I would love to hear some of your examples. My hugs and love to you all! You are AMAZING and I’m so happy to have you in my life and journeying alongside me.
Here is some frequency to help you move through these moments that are potentially hot-spots in your life!!!