Interesting, isn’t it, how external events show up in our lives and provoke deep inner rumblings while new clarity arises out of our old resistances? The contemplation of perspective showed up recently in my world. As I wrote in my July newsletter opening — for those that missed it:
“Sweltering under a fine hot Dallas summer and totally enjoying it. How do I dare write such a blasphemy? Especially after a day of moving boxes back and forth from storage straight in the middle of the day in direct sun? Perspective.
As I will be living for a while in a country without much sun, lots of rain, and mild temperatures, the hot sun suddenly feels good, a sensation to remember on my skin. Also, this year’s hot summer days relentlessly keep asking me to be okay with “what is”. AND oh, “to be okay with “what is” can truly be difficult, urrrgh. Why this musing about the sweltering sun? Perspective.”
AND even more interesting, as I was writing this blog, I discovered that my life will involve a drastic amount of travel until the end of 2019. My initial wave of emotion and uncertainty could have easily slid down the “grumbling” pathway. Poised from my perspective contemplation, I paused, took a few breaths and asked myself: “What goodness might this mean?” Suddenly the rush of emotion switched pathways towards joy and I laughed out of excitement of the fun my husband and I will have and the sites we will see.
The secret to my in-the-moment perspective choice? A few breaths and a question. These allowed enough of a mental pause to stop the flight-fight-freeze hijack of my brain setting off its cascade of hormonal and neural reactions.
Instead I shifted into gratitude which then allowed me to move up the emotional frequency scale into joy.
Having choice in perspective puts power directly into our hands. It can mean the difference in “being a victim” in a situation and “taking charge” in a situation without ANY change in the external situation. The change exists internally within us.Try it. Think of an unpleasant situation, one you would prefer not having – perhaps one with less of an emotional involvement for testing.
Ask yourself a question about the situation that seems opposite to what you feel. Notice that simply by asking, a small space opens up around the “unpleasantness” and allows in new insight, in essence, a new perspective. Watch the quick shift in your emotional response, quite stunning to witness. And yes, yes you did it! No one helped you.
On my Self Synthesize! radio show last month, someone asked a question about failure and how to move out of the emotions of guilt and shame. My heart burst open when I read the question. I wanted to rub her beautiful heart. It dawned on me that if she asked the question, others also felt the same. I decided right then that I had to write a blog on perspective one day. Even failure is simply a judgmental choice, a polarity: some of my biggest failures have been my greatest wins. Hmmmm.
Sometimes the desire to reframe, to find a new perspective arises out of a wish to escape. In the long run, that “fleeing” will cause the situation to chase you mentally and emotionally until you reach resolution. Rather, try acknowledging the situation and any disappointment. Then ask the question: “What goodness might this mean?” This keeps you in the present moment and puts the choice of how the moment is experienced directly in your hands. Powerful. Feeling your power yet? I hope so!
My deep love to you all. I hope this helps. Huge hugs for staying with me until the end and for choosing your power!